10 things I learned this week

1 - Who needs the Easter Bunny when you can have the Sausage Ostrich?
2 - Isn't Questions a hard game to stop playing?
3 - How do you know when you have stopped playing?
4 - I have great genes.
5 - It would suck to have a numb anus.
6 - The measure of a true friend is the one you can call after 6 months and they don't need an excuse for why it took so long to call.
7 - Shouldn't there be a law against pigeon gang-rape?
8 - Gay is the new Gay.
9 - If the gate shuts, you should have been home four hours ago.
10 - Twitter.com is addictive.

A pretty good explanation of Western Society...and maybe life in general.

"At the pet store he picked out two painted turtles, each about as big around as a mayonnaise-jar lid. He bought them a large kidney-shaped dish that had its own little island, a plastic palm tree, some aquatic plants, and a snail. The snail, presumably, to bolster the self-esteem of the turtles: "You think we're slow? Look at the guy". To shore up the snail's morale in the same way, there was a rock. Everyone is happier if they have someone to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both. This is not only the Beta Male strategy for survival, but the basis for capitalism, democracy, and most religions."

From A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore