10 things I learned last week (December Edition)

1 - "Asian girls that like boys, that's totally different."
2 - "I could bitch slap your ass like no other."
3 - "Let me turn on my poon light."
4 - "I am the most benign person here."
5 - "I was just thinking and you were in my way."
6 - "Dog your Reservoir. Everyone cums in the end."
7 - It's always good to ask yourself, WWRD? (What would Randy do?)
8 - "I'm a little drunk and I'm blond, it's ok."
9 - "Purple Jesus!!"
10 - Who doesn't love jazz hands?

10 things I learned last week (Thanksgiving edition)

1 - "Take it to the belly!"
2 - "Are we public?"
3 - "He's gonna get in the Whitehouse and open up a can of Jihad."
4 - "Man milk, muscle milk."
5 - "You can call me daddy."
6 - "It's the J-town slap."
7 - If it's cat on cat, it's not wrong.
8 - "This is the tasty part of the turkey."
9 - Starch, ya gotta love it.
10 - "I'm sorry it took me 20 minutes to put on Birkenstocks."

10 things I learned last week (And by last week I mean late October/early November)

1 - I can now say I've seen a cockwheel.
2 - "Feel my fur." - "That's not furry, that's fucking porcupine hair."
3 - "Is that what's wrong with you, a beetle got up inside your head?"
4 - "I took my shoes off because I wanted a foot massage."
5 - "I wanna marry him and have little Jeff Fisher babies."
6 - "My cigarette was already lit."
7 - "I'm gonna go make-out now, bye y'all."
8 - "I know my body like I know this bar."
9 - If they can pass you drinks through it, it's called a glory hole.
10 - "I don't think I've ever looked at your face."