10 things I learned this week (With no job the weeks blend together so it's been a few weeks)

1 - "As long as you wake up feeling like a glazed doughnut."
2 - "He's huge in Korea...and Pittsburgh."
3 - "I'm eating midget feet."
4 - "If I saw a penis sticking out of a hole, I would not suck it."
5 - I know someone named "Senor Gropes-a-lot".
6 - "She's George Bush in a dress." - Nine year old in reference to Sarah Palin
7 - "Some lesbian motor boated my pigtails."
8 - "That's like having sex without an orgasm."
9 - September/October are the best months to get laid off.
10 - When someone says, "Be good.", I think the mean be well, cause I don't like being good.

10 things I learned this week(end)

1 - "Would you eat my elk?"
2 - Shool starer
3 - Cockhorn
4 - "She's havin' a ham sandwich."
5 - Hotdog Salad
6 - "Who doesn't want money in the bank in both places?"
7 - Easy is not always that easy
8 - Square peg, round hole, no problem
9 - WWDD?
10 - Fantasy Football made me root for the Redskins

10 things I learned this week

1 - Melon Cream
2 - Rinse and Repeat
3 - Disco brunch rocks!!!
4 - Up, down, and up again.
5 - "If I was straight, I would eat you out!"
6 - Apparently, if it's exposed, you can touch it.
7 - I'm a part of the traveling shit show. I may even be the ring leader.
8 - I look like Jesus.
9 - "We be Dubbin'"
10 - "I peed in church" (That has to be better than pootin' in church.)

And a couple extra for the crowd...

11 - "She's got panties in her pants."
12 - "I'm not gay, I just like to eat pussy."

The new (old) face of politics

As someone born after the civil rights movement, I have only experienced the thrill and fear that converges during times of real change through the memory of family and friends, books and articles detailing the events, and video footage of great leaders such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., John and Bobby Kennedy, and Malcolm X. I have felt awe for the men and women that have stood up against the status quo and outright hatred such as Rosa Parks, The Little Rock Nine, and the SNCC. I have felt rage over stories of atrocities such as the murder of Medgar Evers, the bombing in Birmingham, Ala., and the kidnapping and violent murder of Emmett Till. But never, not once during my lifetime, have ever felt that I was present during a time of true change and witnessed someone that has moved me to "believe" that change is possible.

Until now.

I cannot guarantee that Barack Obama will be a great president. I cannot guarantee that he will make this country better then it is now. But I do know that he has expressed a vision, a vision of change that I have not heard, nor felt in my lifetime. When I listen to Obama, I feel the way that I felt the first time I heard MLK Jr. delivered his famous speeches. It is truly fitting that Barack will be accepting the first African-American presidential nomination to a major party, on the anniversary of MLK's 'I have a Dream' speech. Just as the line "I may not get there with you." seemed prophetic when he stated it in the 'Mountaintop' speech the day before his assassination, the words "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.'" seems to speak of this moment, and this day.

We are truly on the precipice of a momentousness occasion; One that I hope we can embrace and own. For me, this election is not just about picking the next president. It is my time to feel that I am truly witnessing what my parents spoke of when they talked about the changes that they observed during their lifetime. It is my time to be excited about politics, my country, and where we can go.

Yes we can!

10 things I learned this week (Dolores Park-ette Edition)

1 - "My cigarettes already lit!"
2 - You can't do this in Cleveland.
3 - "My baby's not fat, he's just big boned."
4 - "It's Sunday afternoon you idiot!"
5 - Entropy in action
6 - "There's potty in my future."
7 - Pumkinbutt
8 - Package-cam
9 - I'm Bob Costas with a beard.
10 - Tickle...

10 things I learned this week

1 - Butt sex? Is that really neccisary?
2 - A new study shows that more young adults are practicing abstinence.
3 - What is wrong with kids these days?
4 - I didn't know it was possible to be aurally Rickrolled.
5 - "I'm happiest in the day time; I love being a daytime drunk."
6 - "Don' gi' himm no muunnie!"
7 - Phelps is an animal!
8 - Lezak is a god!
9 - Lobster wars!!
10 - I'm not a daddy.

10 things I learned this week

1 - Guy Ritchie is back!
2 - "I wanna mark her with my scent..like a Lemur."
3 - I give a good toast.
4 - I'm tired of losing family and friends.
5 - Style = Gay
6 - Zombie Haiku
7 - "If you shit Jesus, I would become religious."
8 - Smack that beav!
9 - "It's no fun if it doesn't taste good."
10 - "I prefer fucking non-picky people."

10 things I learned this week (Late Edition)

1 - Confuse the cat.
2 - Lamp, Turky, Noz.
3 - I've provided my own dragon.
4 - Nothing ruins porn like bad writing.
5 - Watching someone you love get married is bittersweet.
6 - If they're gonna play reggae and keep the lights on, then of course it's time to skinny dip.
7 - It's like a poop stain on the otherwise finely pressed white pants that is the weekend.
8 - Gonna do a blitzkrieg on your suzy.
9 - I'm gonna Twitter your ass right now!
10 - Some trains just go around in circles.

Found whilst digging around my companies Intranet...enjoy.

Date: Thu, 21 May 1998 13:03:53 -0700
From:
Attention: All Dataway Employees
Subject: Summer Dress Code


It has come to our attention that the are seasonal changes which occur on planet Earth. These changes are referred to casually by their names: "spring", "summer", "winter", "fall". These seasons define a climatic quaternity which humans use to as a guide to fashion, sporting events, leisure activities, etc.

Dataway has succeeded thus far in business without paying much attention to the seasons. We have not had to worry about seasonal variation in dress, or demeanor thanks to San Francisco's temperate climate and "alternative" lifestyle. We have found that in the Bay Area one can pretty much wear clothes in a fall to summer range all year round without raising any eyebrows. One can even commit a serious seasonal blunder, white shoes after labor day, for example, and the deviant behavior is just shrugged off as an endearing form of "self expression".

If we were content to remain a local player in the industry we would never have to worry about fashion and its relationship to the seasons. But, if we want to grow globally and trans-geographically we will need to pay attention to what the rest of the world considers a very serious matter. Our office in Dublin heralds a new era for Dataway, and makes us a global player in a fast-paced industry. This new position of power brings with it a higher level or personal and global responsibility. As we join the world marketplace, we find that we have to play by new rules. The Summer Dress Code (SDC) is the tentative first step towards a comprehensive seasonal "look and feel" for Dataway employees.

For our purposes, we shall define the technical term "summer" as that period of weeks between Labor Day (observed) and Memorial Day. The exact length of this "season" will vary from year to year, but it is roughly a sixty day period.

The theme of the summer dress code is: "ISLAND LIFE". Auxiliary programs under development at dataway (the Summer Decoration Code, the Summer Hold-Music Code, the Summer Kitchen-Snack-Item Code) will tie into this theme. In this way our workplace will always be one of visual, aural, and personal harmony.

Men are free to choose from a wide variety of slacks, shorts, or brightly colored island sarongs. Shirts can be open chested, or not, short sleeved or long, but should be brightly colored and gaily
patterned. Fabric depicting idyllic scenes of island life is recommended. Slacks and shorts should be loose, brightly colored, made of hemp or light cotton, and should tie at the waste with a string. Women should choose loose fitting dresses or slacks in nice bright colors. Grass skirts with authentic coconut brassieres are especially desirable. Hair should be worn "au natural", or braided, and decorated with exotic foliage. For both sexes, sandals are preferred, but if shoes must be worn then they should be the "top-sider" variety. In some locations bare feet are also acceptable.

The following items are strictly forbidden during the summer: denim, corduroy, "earth tones", boots, tweed, long trench coats, hooded sweat-shirts, woolen hats.

Although we can not make you do it, it would behoove the career minded employee to adapt an island-like, "savoir faire", attitude during the summer season. Smile a lot, meditate on the sound the waves make as they roll up the beach. Practice island greeting phrases and use them on support calls. Learn how to say your name in Hawaiian. Look up the Kaluha on the web. Any activity that enhances our island theme is encouraged.

Remember, this isn't about hemming your creativity, it's about bringing out your originality. With your help, Dataway will become a strong global power, equally at home in all seasons.



** LOOK FOR THE FALL/WINTER DRESS CODE IN A FUTURE COMMUNIQUE **

An open letter to all Pigeons

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Pigeon,

I truly appreciate the beauty and majesty of nature, as well as the call of the wild. I understand that, as a street chicken, your day entails eating garbage, shitting on pedestrians, and dodging crazed San Francisco drivers. I also understand that during such a day the desire to find some much needed recreational time is a strong pull. My only request is that, when the desire strikes to find solace in the company another, you could refrain from doing so on the window sill directly in front of my desk.

Basically...stop fucking on my window sill!!! No pigeon sex allowed.

Best regards,

Dean

10 things I learned this week

1 - Foot long yum rocket.
2 - They make big chairs for fat Americans in Negril.
3 - Let's have hot dogs and make out.
4 - I look like CHiPs with a beard.
5 - WWLD? What would Lesus do?
6 - You're not supposed to say, "Yay!", and eat the last pork rib. Especially when it's your wives b-day.
7 - Squirrel-pig = Elephant.
8 - Camel breath?
9 - The early worm gets caught first.
10 - Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey...You!

10 things I learned this week

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10 things I learned this week

1 - Who needs the Easter Bunny when you can have the Sausage Ostrich?
2 - Isn't Questions a hard game to stop playing?
3 - How do you know when you have stopped playing?
4 - I have great genes.
5 - It would suck to have a numb anus.
6 - The measure of a true friend is the one you can call after 6 months and they don't need an excuse for why it took so long to call.
7 - Shouldn't there be a law against pigeon gang-rape?
8 - Gay is the new Gay.
9 - If the gate shuts, you should have been home four hours ago.
10 - Twitter.com is addictive.

A pretty good explanation of Western Society...and maybe life in general.

"At the pet store he picked out two painted turtles, each about as big around as a mayonnaise-jar lid. He bought them a large kidney-shaped dish that had its own little island, a plastic palm tree, some aquatic plants, and a snail. The snail, presumably, to bolster the self-esteem of the turtles: "You think we're slow? Look at the guy". To shore up the snail's morale in the same way, there was a rock. Everyone is happier if they have someone to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both. This is not only the Beta Male strategy for survival, but the basis for capitalism, democracy, and most religions."

From A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore

Pillow Fight Club

The rules of pillow fight club:

1) Tell everyone you know about PILLOW FIGHT!!!

2) Wait for the Ferry Building clock to strike 6:00pm

3) Don’t hit anyone with out a pillow (unless they want it)

4) Don’t hit anyone with a camera

5) HAVE FUN!!!

Talk about madness. This was just WAY too much fun. Easily 2,500 people swinging pillows like crazed banshees. Here are a couple of videos.





My favorite was getting on MUNI at 27th and already seeing a couple people with pillows and as more and more people got on with pillows, the folks that didn't know what was going on we more and more confused...priceless.

I am imaging there are still feathers all over Market St today cause they were flying everywhere.

Next year...goggle and a mask. I still feel like I have feathers in my nose.

Dear Ohio and Texas

To all the voting public of these...errr...great states,

Please for the love of Jeebus vote for Barack!! You are the best hope for stopping Hillary and we need you. Please, don't here me say that I would be upset with Hillary in office. Obviously I would prefer a Democrat over a Republican, even one as mid-road as McCain, any day of the week. But I have to tell you, I don't trust Hillary. I think it's the old school tactics and connections that make me cringe. And I must say, I don't think she can beat McCain head to head. Too many people that are on the fence do not like the Clinton's. Listen, Barack and Hillary are almost identical on the issues. At this point it comes down to character, and Barack has that in spades.

So please, help us out. Vote Obama. Our Moment is NOW!

The first of many...

Just thought I should get this thing off the ground. Nothing to say really, just wanted to post something. But if you want to laugh. here's a pic of K at burning man with the pogodick.